There are some challenges that every long-term couple experience, things that aren't often portrayed in romantic films or books.
These lessons may help you weather the difficulties that inevitably come in relationships.
1. Every Couple Argues: Having disagreements shouldn't end your relationship. Like any two people on earth, you will have different opinions, values or intentions for certain matters that will come to a head at some point. Or you will inevitably reveal that you aren't as perfect as you seemed on your first date. Your annoying habits will wear thin at times. All this is perfectly normal in a relationship. The aim is to learn how to apologise when you have had a fight or done something to hurt the other person, and to forgive & leave it behind. Learn that it's normal to have different viewpoints, as long as the important stuff matches up. And make sure the bulk of your relationship landscape is positive & rewarding, don't over-indulge in negativity.
2. People Change: As time moves on and life moves on, people grow. And part of growth is change. New perspectives. New dreams. New experiences. New concerns. New priorities. Regular communication as a couple is important so that you can constantly update your understanding of who your partner is. That way you won't one day wake up to discover you don't know each other anymore. If you aren't growing together, you're growing apart.
3. Conversation is Crucial: Conversation is the biggest building block of any relationship at all stages of the relationship. Conversation builds care & understanding. It's sharing and discovering. It's communication. It can be used to relive memories, grapple with the present and plan for the future. Most importantly, it constantly ensures connection. If you feel like you're running out of things to talk about, use your Awkward Silence subscription or app. It's what we are here for.
4. Relationships Undulate: Sometimes love is tender & sweet. Sometimes it's difficult & a pain in the arse. Love can be present in both circumstances even if the mood is different for both. The happiness level isn't just a constant slope up or down. It's all over the place. Regularly communicate your love with your partner, and affirm them of your commitment. Be honest about struggles, they don't kill relationships. (Not communicating does!)
5. You May Have A Different Love Language To Your Partner: Love can be expressed but unheard through no one's fault. This can be because you & your partner speak a different love language. You need to learn how your partner hears love and express it in their language. Our friends at 5 Love Languages can explain it best. Take the quiz, it will change how you see your relationship.
Long lasting relationships need more than a will to love. They need understanding.
Let's talk.
Is your love real or not?