When you ask a really big question, people can respond like you have asked them a question on a gameshow – they think for three seconds and say “I don’t know”.
That conversation might be killed at this point. Or with some awareness, it could become something special.
Don’t be afraid of an uncomfortable pause. After the person says “I don’t know”, it’s not necessarily the end of their consideration. Let the pause linger enough for the person to think of their answer. Often this is as little as 10 seconds.
Maybe an answer won't eventuate then & there. But the person comes back to you another day and says “I was thinking about that question you asked me. And….”
As a society, we have become far too expectant of conversation remaining light. We make small talk or witty banter. We keep people at arm’s length. We don’t throw curveballs. We give pat answers to pat questions.
Why are we so afraid of big questions?
It’s because big questions can mean big answers.
Conversation can be full of revelations, it is life changing. The catalyst of it can take you down unexplored paths.
You’re outside your comfort zone, thinking outside the box. You’re seeking undiscovered angels instead of sticking with the devil you know. It’s new territory.
And that’s all bold & scary. And extremely rewarding.
Opening with a big question can be too much too soon. But be pro-active in asking one after the opening chit-chat.
When did you last ask a big question? And which big question could you ask today?
Why is frequent conversation so necessary for a relationship? And what are the consequences of ignoring it?
Impacting the world starts by impacting those around us. What are the practical ways we do this every day?
How do you impact the world? What gives your life meaning & purpose? How can you make your mark?
We tend to spend more time with our workmates than anyone else. Annoying habits can creep in easily. How can you go from being a potentially irritating co-worker to being a friend?
Are you forgetting to share your life with the one you share your life with?
Does sarcasm enchance a conversation or is it detrimental?
While Google is often handy, in the course of our social conversations it can take something away.
It’s perfectly human to have been wrong. What should we do with outdated points of view?
This trick will serve you well… but not for long.
10 dos & don’ts that will ensure you aren’t the annoying voice in a conversation.