No one is born fully formed. In truth, no one ever is fully formed.
We are constantly growing. People in motion. A work in progress.
And this all seems obvious enough, but when it comes to expressing our opinion we can feel a need to defend our point of view to the point of embarrassment.
Here’s an idea – what if your view on a matter is wrong?
Or perhaps not wrong, but could your view be improved?
We all know that person whose only intent in a conversation is to sound the smartest. The more their ideas are questioned, the more they feel threatened. Often they are poor company.
Sometimes we are reluctant to concede an opinion, or to let an opinion be vulnerable. If our opinion is open to question or is fallible, it feels like that invalidates our right to even have an opinion.
There’s nothing wrong with having an opinion even if you don’t have all the facts. That’s why we have conversations, to inform our opinion. Let that opinion be vulnerable.
We shouldn’t be shy in questioning an opinion even if we don’t necessarily oppose it. We also shouldn’t be reluctant to change our own opinion.
So rather than conversation being merely people debating – a contest to see who is the smartest – try to explore ideas instead. Debate those ideas even, but open to the issue’s merits either way.
You’re a work-in-progress. Embrace that position.
Don’t aim to be the one in a conversation who gets to ride the high-horse. Aim to be the one who learns the most.
How do people perceive you? And what can you do to mold that perception?
Do you want a game where everyone wins no matter how badly they play? Do you think you know everything about your lover?
How do you respond when an important conversation presents itself? Do you minimise it?
Are conversations about entertainment pointless?
What is the taboo topic that we should talk about a lot more?
How are you with the basics of conversation? Test yourself with this check list.
Is Carpe Diem a load of crap?
Try these conversation starters with your Valentines date.
It’s important to tell people how meaningful they are. So why do we avoid being sentimental?
Does your attitude to conversation result in people reflecting on your words long after you’ve said them? Or do you just make disposable chit-chat?