How We Talk To Women

It's no secret that men can be stupid, particularly when we think from our hips.

I've had an interesting/disappointing insight into this recently. I'm a little addicted to an app that allows me to play a game with others online. As part of the game, my facebook profile picture comes up, but my girlfriend is more prominent in the picture than I am.

As a result, a lot of the men that see me in the game assume I am her. And they talk to me in a different way.

One guy who knew nothing about me wanted to add me on Facebook and was asking how he could do so. When I questioned him on it, he said he "likes Australian women".

Men, take note. When you objectify women, at the very least you sound completely pathetic. It's not subtle. If you indulge in such behaviour long enough, you'll lose all respect for yourself.

Of course, the bigger issue is how you make these women feel. Women have to go through frequent objectifications constantly. It's personal for them, it's their lives.

They don't deserve it.

It doesn't take a woman in a short skirt to draw their attention. It can be as simple as a girl wanting to relax and play a game on an app to have guys making her uncomfortable.

Instances of rape & sexual assault that were once hidden have become high profile in recent years. But the way we treat women in both big & small ways is what fosters a culture that debases women. 

Innocent "locker room" talk that encourages objectification of women has bigger consequences than we can appreciate in the moment. If you laugh it off, you condone it.

“Innocent “locker room” talk that encourages objectification of women has bigger consequences than we can appreciate in the moment. If you laugh it off, you condone it.”

As this is a conversation website, I want to encourage the men out there to think about how they use their conversation.

Don't treat women as game. Don't talk to them like they are beneath contempt. 

Don't forever be angling for sexual advances, especially when she is clearly not interested.

Remember that they have most likely copped sexual crap from other men already that day. What may seem like a disproportionate response to a small flirtation is often the frustration of constant advances.

Use your brain. Use your empathy.

Be one of the good ones.

Take time to get to know her. When you escape your hips and opt to really get to know someone, it's a bigger adventure than a bedroom one-nighter.

These comments aren't revelations. These aren't things we don't already know. But not being derogatory is an attitude we need to adopt constantly.

And repeating this message keeps us vigilant.

It's a message that we need to pull our friends up on. It's a message we need to teach to our sons. It's a message we need to remember when we are engaging online.

Women deserve better.

Let's talk.