At Awkward Silence, we aren't a fan of the lazy cliche conversation opening of "how are you". But there are times when you really want to know how someone is feeling.
In those situations, asking "how are you" can be easily dismissed, either because it's so often asked redundantly or because people have the default answer of "good".
I lately find myself checking in on friends to break the isolation and see if they need anything. So I want to know how they really are and get an honest answer.
You need to tweek the "how are you" opening so it targets a genuine response. Here are 5 alternatives:
1. "How are you on a scale of 1 to 10?": This pinpoints the mood beyond a generic "good", and naturally leads to some explanation. It also removes the option of simply answering "good".
2. "What's your high & low of the week?": Get an insight into what was going on in other's lives by looking for specific examples.
3. "Which emoji are you today?": This one is a little more fun (or silly) but it achieves the objective of looking for a real answer by provoking thought.
4. "Which song would summarise your week?": An opener like this isn't for everyone. But creative types will get switched on, and realise you're inviting genuine conversation & genuine interest.
5. "How are you secretly feeling at the moment?": This bold question pre-emptively shoots down the reflex default answers.
It's an important time to check in on friends. Help them open up.
Let's talk.
New year’s resolutions are more successful when you start them in March.