Complaining people are really boring, but sometimes we feel a need to unload the rubbish we have dealt with that day. Your partner is often the one to cop the brunt of this when you first see each other in the evening.
You’ve been biting your tongue all day because of the lazy co-worker who wouldn’t shut up, the bozo on the train who took up the whole seat, and the moron who cut you off in traffic.
By rehashing it all night long, you have let them ruin both your day and your evening.
We don’t have control over the behaviour of others, but we do have control over own behaviour. By reliving it, you are the one letting it continue to beat you down.
If you need to get things off your chest, apply some strategy to it.
The best strategy is to cap the recap of your bad day.
Dwelling on your negativity for too long will only feed it.
If you need to talk about it, put a limit on it. Two minutes is more than enough time to point out what was wrong with your day.
Then move on.
Move on to enjoyable conversation. This is the best cure for a bad day. And this is when you’ll really let it go.
Dwelling on the negative is unhealthy and will make you bad company. It will also impact detrimentally on your relationships. You shouldn’t bottle up your bad feelings, but limiting how much you talk about it makes it tolerable to listen to.
If you aren’t listening, the conversation doesn’t evolve. It’s just two people saying things they each already know at each other.
Some things are good for us to hear, even if they are things we already know.
Martin Pistorius was diagnosed as being brain dead. Yet he was conscious, alert, and could see & hear everything that was happening around him. No one realised for 11 years.