Regular readers of Awkward Silence articles know that we hate vanilla questions. But what is the reason people ask bland questions instead of asking about topics that could really take the conversation somewhere interesting?
Because the person you are talking to might share something of themselves that will make the conversation awkward.
Awkward… or vulnerable & genuine.
And if that happens the conversation will get uncomfortable because you will be in a position to connect with that person, to not be in automatic discussing how it was hotter last year than this year. You will be having a real moment instead of a plastic smile.
Having fake conversations is easy. You give nothing, you leave nothing behind, you do something that fills space without mattering.
It’s pointless, and some people like it that way.
How about you? What kind of conversations do you want?
Do you want a conversation that will impact you? Do you want a conversation that will switch on your counterpart?
Do you want a conversation that moves you? Do you want a conversation that challenges you?
Do you want a conversation where you can give someone hope? Do you want a conversation that matters?
These conversations are real conversations. They require you to put a piece of yourself out there, to share a moment with someone, to be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable can get awkward & uncomfortable. It’s because something is shifting.
And that’s OK, it’s excellent even. Don’t fear it.
Next time someone is opening up, don’t start looking for ways to shut it down as smoothly as possible. Embrace the chance for a real conversation.
Let’s Talk. Really.
If you aren’t listening, the conversation doesn’t evolve. It’s just two people saying things they each already know at each other.
Some things are good for us to hear, even if they are things we already know.
Martin Pistorius was diagnosed as being brain dead. Yet he was conscious, alert, and could see & hear everything that was happening around him. No one realised for 11 years.