There is a reason we are social. It's to be known.
To be known is to be validated.
We want people to understand us, to appreciate us, to know us.
And even in respectful disagreement, to be heard to is to be valued.
There is an old proverb - if a tree falls in the forest while no one is around, does is make a noise? Similarly, we tend to feel a sense of being who we are only if that being is recognised by another.*
This is the power of conversation - to discover another and have them discover you.
It doesn't come about through meaningless impersonal filler. It comes about by having genuine interaction.
Reveal yourself. Seek out others.
This doesn't mean making every conversation a life-changing tear-jerker. But each conversation should potentially be a unique interaction involving real thought, not the fodder of small talk.
In doing so, people discover you. And you discover them.
(* Is that true? Maybe, maybe not. Ask what your friends think, it's another conversation starter.)
How are you with the basics of conversation? Test yourself with this check list.
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