There is a reason we are social. It's to be known.
To be known is to be validated.
We want people to understand us, to appreciate us, to know us.
And even in respectful disagreement, to be heard to is to be valued.
There is an old proverb - if a tree falls in the forest while no one is around, does is make a noise? Similarly, we tend to feel a sense of being who we are only if that being is recognised by another.*
This is the power of conversation - to discover another and have them discover you.
It doesn't come about through meaningless impersonal filler. It comes about by having genuine interaction.
Reveal yourself. Seek out others.
This doesn't mean making every conversation a life-changing tear-jerker. But each conversation should potentially be a unique interaction involving real thought, not the fodder of small talk.
In doing so, people discover you. And you discover them.
(* Is that true? Maybe, maybe not. Ask what your friends think, it's another conversation starter.)
How do people perceive you? And what can you do to mold that perception?
Do you want a game where everyone wins no matter how badly they play? Do you think you know everything about your lover?
How do you respond when an important conversation presents itself? Do you minimise it?
Are conversations about entertainment pointless?
What is the taboo topic that we should talk about a lot more?
How are you with the basics of conversation? Test yourself with this check list.
Is Carpe Diem a load of crap?
Try these conversation starters with your Valentines date.
It’s important to tell people how meaningful they are. So why do we avoid being sentimental?
Does your attitude to conversation result in people reflecting on your words long after you’ve said them? Or do you just make disposable chit-chat?