No Filter

I was out in the city celebrating a friend's birthday. The people I was hanging out with were her friends, and this is a good way to meet new people. Alternatively, it can also mean being around people who you normally wouldn't choose to be with.

It was a fun time, but one thing spoiled the night. It was the one person we've all come across - the guy with no filter. He just says everything that pops into his head. And he thinks that it's important that everyone hear it.

He wants attention.

I believe it's OK to say stupid things in conversations. You shouldn't be afraid to talk. But that doesn't mean opening your mouth whenever you can.

Most people have a filter, they know when something is worth saying and when it isn't. Perhaps someone else is talking and uses a phrase that reminds you of something from a movie. It doesn't mean you have to recite that line, especially if it's completely irrelevant. Maybe someone is telling a story that reminds you of something inconsequential you did this morning, you don't need to announce it to the group.

“Inevitably what happens with this person is that people get sick of indulging him.”

Generally, the larger a group of people, the harder it is to get your thoughts in so you want to make them count. This is where the filter is even more important.

Inevitably what happens with this person is that people get sick of indulging him. He keeps interrupting good conversation until everyone no longer politely acknowledges him, they'd rather ignore him. And what happens is that he notices his thoughts, weak puns & stories aren't getting heard, so he tries all the more to be heard making himself even more detrimental to an otherwise good time.

And a vicious circle is in action. This person keeps talking but no one wants to interact with him.  So he talks even more thinking this will fix it. He doesn't realise that it's the quality of his words that is lacking, not the quantity. And he needs to realise that he doesn't need to be the centre of attention.

What is the best way to handle this person? I still don't know. But I do know that I don't want to be that person.

So I aim to be more self-aware that my conversation counts. I listen to others stories without thinking my story is the most important one to share. And I use Awkward Silence to invite interesting conversation.

Let's Talk!