I love hearing a good story-teller.
But an anecdote can quickly get labored when the story-teller gets side-tracked by unimportant details. See how long you can follow this story before you want out:
“That reminds me of when we went to Cairns…was it Cairns or Byron Bay? No, it must have been Cairns….I think………I’m not sure. Yes, it was Cairns, back in….when was it? I think it was 2012. It can’t have been 2013 because we were pregnant at the time. It was before I finished my studies though. I think it might have even been 2011. So it must have been Byron Bay, not Cairns. Did we drive there with the Ronsons?....”
While the regaler is trying to share their story, they lose your interest by trying to remember all the irrelevant details as they go. It’s frustrating to listen to.
You feel like saying “please, it doesn’t matter. Just get to the point!”. Manners stop you.
Sometimes our brain has roadblocks when we are trying to figure something out. Instead of getting on with our story, we subconsciously feel a need to stop and work it out first.
Recognise this behavior. Realise it is dull. Remember your audience.
And when you find yourself asking irrelevant questions like “were we eating the burger or the fish?”, remind yourself that it doesn’t matter and continue with your story.
Keep an eye on your conversation skills. Trim the fat by skipping past the irrelevant details.
There is the classic one-word answer caricature we have of teens. The problem isn’t just in the answers, the problem is also the dull questions.
On the course of thinking on a new line, we can stumble on an idea trail. If we follow it, that idea starts to take shape.
When we're in a forced conversation, the temptation is to default to light filler topics. But it's easy to have a gripping conversation with someone you have never met before. It could be more memorable than you expect.
The future is here. This is the new approach to conversation - the unexpected, the unconventional, the unpredictable.
When you talk to someone, you realise they have passions, struggles, quirks & hopes. The same as you. This is how conversation builds acceptance of diversity.