I love hearing a good story-teller.
But an anecdote can quickly get labored when the story-teller gets side-tracked by unimportant details. See how long you can follow this story before you want out:
“That reminds me of when we went to Cairns…was it Cairns or Byron Bay? No, it must have been Cairns….I think………I’m not sure. Yes, it was Cairns, back in….when was it? I think it was 2012. It can’t have been 2013 because we were pregnant at the time. It was before I finished my studies though. I think it might have even been 2011. So it must have been Byron Bay, not Cairns. Did we drive there with the Ronsons?....”
While the regaler is trying to share their story, they lose your interest by trying to remember all the irrelevant details as they go. It’s frustrating to listen to.
You feel like saying “please, it doesn’t matter. Just get to the point!”. Manners stop you.
Sometimes our brain has roadblocks when we are trying to figure something out. Instead of getting on with our story, we subconsciously feel a need to stop and work it out first.
Recognise this behavior. Realise it is dull. Remember your audience.
And when you find yourself asking irrelevant questions like “were we eating the burger or the fish?”, remind yourself that it doesn’t matter and continue with your story.
Keep an eye on your conversation skills. Trim the fat by skipping past the irrelevant details.
What should you talk about when you know a conversation is only going to be brief?
If you want to have a rewarding conversation with someone, never ask this question.
There is a reason we are social. It's to be known.
Last week, we discussed the importance of not interrupting others. But sometimes an interruption can actually enhance a conversation.
You hate being interrupted, but do you interrupt others?
Couples fall in love when they become interested in each other. But as you start to become less interesting to each other, what can be done to stop another interesting person jeapordizing the relationship?
What's your favorite band? What's your favorite book? People shoot down "favorite" questions because they haven't got an answer ready. But you don't need an answer to discuss these questions.
Disappointed by how you're answering questions? This is how conversation motivates you to change for the better.
When starting a conversation, we can jump to the most obvious question. Chances are, this person has heard this question a lot and is now bored by it.
It may surprise you that it's OK not to talk sometimes.