Let's Discuss Politics & Religion

The first rule of polite conversation is never discuss politics or religion.

The reason for this is that they can become heated topics. There is never harmony in politics, it is in its nature to be adversarial. But our politics are a reflection of our personal values. A clash of values leads to tension.

Likewise, religion is where our hopes & deep-seated beliefs lie. For many, it is an affiliation where we have a sense of belonging.

Anyone opposing either of those things can be taken as making a personal attack. And we fight fire with fire.

So when we are making polite dinner conversation, we stick to safe topics that everyone can agree on. “Hot today, isn’t it?”

How boring.

What many don’t realise is that there is really nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion with someone. And if we can be respectful, there is no reason why we can’t discuss our different opinions either.

The key to remember is this – just because someone has an opinion different to yours, it doesn’t stop you having your own opinion.

There is good reason for discussing our different opinions.

People’s views & values can change over time. In most instances, they won’t change over the course of your conversation simply because you have made some good points. But that person may go away from the conversation and ponder what you have said.

For instance, I was once vigorously opposed to homosexuality by virtue of a viewpoint that I was conditioned with. As homosexuality became more culturally acceptable and people expressed the need for social change, I found myself finding reasons as to why I should still hold my view. I am pretty stubborn. Alternately, more & more as I heard people arguing against homosexuality, the view I thought I had, I found myself disagreeing with them. It didn’t happen overnight, but I did realise over time that my view had completely changed, thanks to hearing people who weren’t afraid to present an alternate view to mine.

“You shouldn’t feel threatened by someone just because their view is different.”

People instinctually defend their opinions because they hate to admit they have gotten it wrong. It is a sub-conscious attempt to make themselves feel smart, like that is a pre-cursor to having an opinion. In the rush to defend their opinion, they may not fully appreciate your view instantly.

Some people will still get offended even when you debate reasonably. You can’t stop that.

But if you are confident in your own views, you should feel no need to be threatened by someone just because their view is different.

If you are not confident in your views, even better. You should welcome the chance to hear different sides of the story. Hearing someone out doesn’t mean you necessarily agree with them.

Sometimes someone’s views will be offensive to you personally, particularly if they are saying your rights don’t matter. And in some discussions, perhaps it is better to let the conversation go. Try to have perspective in recognising when a conversation is going downhill, especially online. Once they hit the slippery slope, they rarely improve.

I argue with people sometimes if I think they are presenting a baseless illogical argument. Something in me feels a need to prove to that person that they are wrong. In the end, what difference does it make? I should just let it go. If that person is wrong, let them be wrong. You can only say so much.

When a conversation turns into a contest, you stop being interested in what the other person says. The conversation is useless.

But with maturity, a conversation of differing opinions can easily be respectful, interesting, challenging (in the best kind of way) and even informative.

Let’s discuss politics & religion. Let’s discuss our different viewpoints. But let’s be mature about it. Remember that an opinion different to yours doesn’t threaten you retaining your own opinion.

Let's Talk.